Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
