I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
