i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
