I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
