covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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