i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
