It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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