my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
