his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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