Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
