Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
