I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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