ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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