Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
