Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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