I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
