Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
