how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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