There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
accomplished twins. life is a go
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
