put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize