i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
