Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
