I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
