idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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