So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
