Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
