Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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