If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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