Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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