bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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