It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
