If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
