OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
