It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
