the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
