i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
