I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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