No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
