Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
