im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
