She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
