She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
