didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
