I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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