names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize