dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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