You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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