Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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