I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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