Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
