Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
