Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
