i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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