I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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