We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
