Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize