just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have already put on my inside pants.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
