Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
