I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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