I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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