I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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